Passion Project
I had a pretty productive Monday. My reward for applying for some jobs was a delicious dinner prepared lovingly by my “sweetie” Taryn, and the joy of the company of she and Luda for an episode of Hell’s Kitchen. A conversation I had with Will this weekend got me thinking about the magic of movie-making and my fascination with the process. In high school, my friends and I produced two films, and although they were not the highest quality, we certainly had fun. I don’t know how long my fans have been following my blogging career, but I used to work as a co-author at shutupbrain.net before I landed my own gig. Back then, I created a fake movie script just to make a funny post, but John didn’t seem to appreciate it. I was such a plucky, young punk in those days…ahhhh, to be seventeen again. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we? The post was entitled, “Disgruntled Co-Author?”, and here it is in its entirety.
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While I’ve been off working and playing video games with my friends, it seems John has been posting up a storm. John’s recent overuse of the colon has inspired me to write a movie, entitled “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuffâ€, which I will post excerpts of on this blog. Today I will introduce the characters and type the opening scene.
{ Our story takes place in the year 2003, and focuses on our hero, Tim, an intriguing young man of seventeen who is casually enjoying his summer until fate intervenes…
He is still living with his parents in a small, northern-Iowa town. His life takes a dramatic turn, however, when his long-lost diabolical brother, Ron, kidnaps his beautiful girlfriend in a jealous rage, as part of an elaborate plot to regain his former status as the favorite son. Read on to discover whether or not Tim can save the girl, thwart his brother, and prevent Ron’s complicated scheme, which also involves the local Taco Bell, and the phenomenon of condensation.}
(As the movie begins, the setting is an average high school party. Teenagers are seen dancing, music blares in the background, and a keg of a mystery beverage, likely Diet Mr. Pibb, is being enjoyed from opaque plastic cups. We find our protagonist playing video games in the well-furnished basement. He is surrounded by friends, including his best friend, Greg, and several on-lookers desperately hoping to catch a glimpse of the local legend that is Tim Ebot.)
Greg: Man, Tim, you sure are awesome. You are totally kicking my ass at this game.
Tim: Well, yeah, but don’t be too hard on yourself.
Greg: Hey, dude, what’s your favorite type of pie?
Tim: If I had to pick just one, I suppose it would be…..
IS IT KEY LIME? PUMPKIN? THE RARE BUT DELECTABLE GRAPE!? TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT, AND TO LEARN THE FATE OF OUR BELOVED TEEN HERO!!!
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I never did anything with this fairly weak premise, but I would still like to make a more serious, feature-length movie sometime. But what do the fans think? I will hold casting calls for everyone interested, and keep in mind that the director is easily influenced by the charms of aspiring young actresses. If the people demand a longer, more serious script, maybe this local blogging celebrity will find time to whip something up before the summer is over. Hopefully this post can solicit some comments from the viewing public. Yeah, that’s right, I posted two days in a row. Who loves you more than I do?
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Jim, I’m loving all this posting!!! I think if you made a movie it would not only become a local hit, but a national phenomenon…and of course I would audition. Here’s my official résumé:
8th grade play: Played Little Red Robin Hood in “Little Red Robin Hood” alongside the actress who plays Shannon (Maggie Grace Dennig) in “Lost.” (yeah that’s right, I got the lead to her) Around the same time I was in a commercial for Kimble Construction, which aired in the Cleveland area. So…am I hired??? Oh, and gratuitous nude scenes are no problemo.
P.S. I’m glad you liked dinner.
I might add that Taryn also was cast as zombie number 2 in my WSU-tunnel-horror picture which was never created. Too bad our paths didn’t cross earlier or we could have teamed up for the ultimate movie-making duo! We could be the next Ben Afflect and Matt Damon. Granted I’d prefer to be Matt in this case…you can be Ben (you get all of that booty from J-Lo!).
Eh, what the hell, if you ever get desparate, here’s a resume.
Short Films:
*Unconditional Love (A. Wolf, 2001)
*C++: A Tale of Insanity (A. Wolf, 2001)
*Please Hire Tomas (T. Cliett, 2001)
*When Robots Attack (W. graver / P. McDonald, 2001)
*And Some (A. Wolf / C. Ward, 2003)
*Whatever the hell Will was working on the other day
Silent/Black & White 35mm film:
*The Race (S. Payne, 2000)
*Taken by Surprise (S. Payne, 2000)
*Firelane (W. Graver, 2002)
*Shadowboxer (W. Graver, 2002)
Digital full length:
*Christmas Break Documentary (W. graver/A. Wolf)
*Breaking out of English Class (A. Roberts, 2000)
Currently working on:
Cribs (A. Wolf, C. Ward, 2005)
Yeah, funny that you mention Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. I was going to reference that duo in my post, but I wasn’t sure who would be Ben, since his movies lately have been, well how to put this delicately, let’s just say they’ve been “Gigli”. I think that’s the perfect adjective to describe them. Can we both just be Matt?
Yeah, the only way I see it working out is if you are both Matt, cause really who wants to admit to being Ben at this point?
Although I am not an accomplished actor like Tone, I am good at coming up with funny ideas, writing funny songs, and well, being the light meter bitch (Will is my reference for that). Oh and I can use computers or something.
As for movie ideas…I still would like to pursue the short film about John getting into crazy situations and then handling them…John-style.
It is settled then…we are both Matt. You could say we are Matts, but then the real Mats would get offended. Screw that whore Ben and his butt chin. We never needed him anyway fellow Matt!
“Who loves you more than I do?”
-No one. No one loves me more than Jaymz Tobe!!! I’d also like to add that I am currenty retired from that whole crazy acting Hollywood scene…but your top notch Jimmy and I’d love to make a picture with ya. Have your people call my people for a resume. Now If you’ll excuse me I gotta go feed my staff. And by feeding I mean hitting the intercom and telling my chef to whip up some mac and cheese for the gardener and the pool boy…those crazy kids dig their macoroni. Me? I think for lunch I’ll have a martini…make that a double.
keep it sexy Jaymz which for you means stay exactly as you are.