Diary of a Cage Fighter (Journalist) In Training

Wow. Two weeks without a post. I want to begin by apologizing profusely to anyone out there who ever took the time to read this, especially if you stopped checking for updates on a daily basis. I’m sorry. The two week hiatus was a horrible experiment gone awry. Originally, I had an idea. I would use my precious internet writing skills as a weapon to get what I wanted: comments. By withholding my witticisms from the public and abstaining from posting, I would regain the power in this relationship. As this struggle of willpowers endured, I discovered that I enjoyed the experience just as much as my audience. By that time, however, I couldn’t let on that I was weaker, that I wanted it more. I tried everything. I wrote in a journal that only I read, I posted comments on random message boards, I even thought about having a secret affair with another blog. Nothing could compare to the thrill and pleasure I derived from writing here and receiving comments from all of you. I’m a one blog man at heart, and finally I realized that I was lucky to have you, and if I wanted to have my loyal readership back, I would have to come back here groveling on my hands and knees. So here I am. I stand before you a broken man. I know that I don’t deserve a second chance, but hear me out. You’re the only blog for me. Let me prove it to you. Since I abandoned this sweet piece of internet for two weeks, I have decided to post everyday for the following fortnight. That’s right, for the next fourteen days I’m all yours, sweetheart. There will be at least one new post everyday. Over the course of this time, I’m going to take you on an epic journey to win back your heart. This will be like a Tour de France of internet journalism. We’re going to learn a lot about each other and hopefully share some laughs along the way. Your odyssey begins now. Will you let me be your conductor again? This sexy train’s leaving the station, and it ain’t coming back, sugar…..Unless you’re hot, I’m willing to make exceptions. So please, return to me and embrace the Tour de No Pants (if you play your cards right). By the way, if you think I haven’t been posting just because I am lazy, you know me too well. Visit tomorrow for another brand spankin’ new post, sponsored in part by: Tyler’s Mess-On-Your-Face Brand S’mores. That’s Tyler’s Mess-On-Your-Face Brand S’mores, “They’re an Embarrassing Picture Waiting to Happen!”

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