Diary of a Cage Fighter (Journalist) In Training

I am usually a fairly calm, cool, collected guy thanks in part because my Degree deodorant kicks-in in the clutch. There are few things that can upset me. They include: when a jerk treats a girl unfairly (especially one of my ladies), someone messing with my friends or family, and David Faustino for some reason. That’s the list. At least it was, until the day Wright State told me that my scholarship was being placed on hold because I had not taken an honors course since my first quarter last fall. Suddenly Bud from Married with Children occupied his lowest position on my list in a long time: I had other priorities in the hate department. Allow me to explain the situation. My scholarship requires me to complete six honors courses by the end of my sophomore year here at Wright State. During my first quarter, I successfully finished three of the six. I felt relatively comfortable being half way done with my requirements, so I decided to take a break from honors classes for the rest of the year. When it came time to register for classes for the first quarter of my second year, I got a bit of a late start because the honors program did not send an e-mail telling me that I could register and listing the honors courses available. This was something that I had grown accustomed to during my first year. Anyway, by the time I realized that I could select my classes most of the honors courses were full. I decided to meet with my “personal advisor” that was assigned through the department of communications. I use the quotations because this person did not know anything about me. Not only that, but she could not find the honors courses listed on ROX. I tried to help her, suggesting that when I registered in the past, they were listed separately under University Honors, but she still claimed that they were not there so she just suggested some general education classes for me to take. After I thought that I had accomplished what I came to do, she spent half an hour of my time trying to figure out what college I was enrolled in and what honors program I was talking about. I tried to explain that A.) I was directly admitted to the College of Liberal Arts, B.) I was involved with the University Honors Program, located just two floors down in Millett Hall (the building we were in), and C.) Neither of these facts mattered because they didn’t affect what honors classes I needed to take or anything. After that whole fiasco, I was beginning to subscribe to Tone’s famous “Come back, burn down the school, piss on ashes” mentality, but I still had a small bit of faith in Wright State. What a naive fool I was. That all died when I got the e-mail that discussed my honors scholarship. Because I had not enrolled in an honors class for the fall, they were concerned that I would not be able to fulfill my requirements. When I learned that my scholarship was in jeopardy, I did what any responsible college student would do: I scheduled a meeting with the head of the honors program, and I made sure that I did not tell my mom anything about this. After all, there’s no need for her to worry if I could fix this situation or at least delay her finding out about it. This is this same strategy that allowed me to put off working on homework until the day before it was due in high school. It turns out that all that the honors program wanted to do is get my attention and ensure that I was aware of my requirements. Apparently me ruining a perfectly good pair of pants worrying about the situation was just a bonus laugh for the gang around the office. All I had to do was change my schedule, registering for one honors class in the fall. Before I calmed down and gained perspective on the whole ordeal, I decided to make a PowerPoint presentation that provided a detailed plan. Here it is, I hope you enjoy it.

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