Diary of a Cage Fighter (Journalist) In Training

This was originally supposed to just be an away message, but it got too long. It’s ok that it developed into a post, though, because it gave me an excuse to start a post with z. When else is that going to happen? Anyways, I watched the MAC championship game tonight. Akron defeated Northern Illinois on an exciting touchdown with ten seconds left….but that’s not the point. Akron’s team name is the Zips. It used to be the zippers. Their mascot is Zippy the kangaroo and they have t-shirts that say “Fear the Roo”…Now, the kangaroo is an adorable animal, and maybe it could be an acceptable mascot even though they are not indigenous to the city of Akron, the state of Ohio, or even the United States…But are we that desperate for team names that we need to have a team named after an inanimate object that is part of the crotch of a pair of pants? Not only that, but they changed it to something that is either an abbreviation of zippers or they are the “sharp, hissing sounds” according to dictionary.com. What the hell is a zip? It sure isn’t a kangaroo! Stop hiding behind your lack of creativity, University of Akron, and change your school’s mascot. Here are a few possibilities: Tires, Drunken Uncles, Migrant Workers, Wet and Wild Co-Eds. Or, you could try and incorporate a product tie-in with a major company. How much revenue would the Akron Fightin’ Arby’s Onion Petals generate? Perhaps you would prefer the Akron New-and-Improved Stain-Fighting Tide? There are a million possibilities out there. I mean, I just thought of these in like five minutes before I went to bed. If you insist on sticking with the clothes theme, why not the Akron Underoos? Then you might even be able to get away with keeping the kangaroo suit and the t-shirts…I’m interested to see if anyone else has any thoughts on the issue. Hit me with some of your own mascot ideas, people.

Filed under: Uncategorized