Swashbuckling Savings & Loan
Arrrr you tired of traveling to remote islands just to find the money to pay monthly bills? Creditors hassling you about accepting gold doubloons and bullion? Has collecting Aztec gold lost its luster because you keep forgetting where you buried it? Then maybe it’s time to consider entrusting your money to the folks at First National Davy Jones’ Locker, a Plundercorp bank. Ahoy, they call me Captain Five o’ Clock Shadow. First National Davy Jones’ Locker is a reputable institution that hasn’t been sacked, pillaged, or plundered in over thirty years of service. Instead of relying on treasure maps, shovels, or mythological creatures like the Kraken, we store your money in a secure vault surrounded by assassins. After all, you killed to obtain your treasure, so we’ll kill to protect it. We’re willing to work with you to find your best available option, and can offer you a loan at a low APRRRRR…yarrr. So force your old banking solutions to walk the plank, and start reaping the benefits of First National Davy Jones’ Locker today, where X marks the spot…for your future.
Filed under: Classic Away Messages
I like the cut of yer J’armour, but if thar be any fees I be reporting ye to the BBB.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr your assassins going to then steal me doubloons?
(*Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarsgaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!*)